My 6 days away from 3 year old as you may have read in a thread is very hard to potty train. Asked by Wiki User. Not far off but I’ll spare you the details. i agree with this. Please note, as this is a peer-to-peer discussion board, Netmums has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. It may well be he "needs attention" rather than attention seeking(sorry I really don't like the phrase, we all have needs that need to be met). Not only does she smear her poop everywhere, but she also has a corner in my living room where she, for the lack of a better term, "marks her territory." My daughter suffered from it (she is 5) and we got it under control after 2.5 years of her suffering. that alerts him that you know the poo is his and you have then instructed him on what he is to do to keep the home hygenic. I do think though your OH needs to understand that this behaviour is not acceptable and you need an united front to tackle it best. This wasn’t first and has yet to be the last time one of my toddlers has removed or simply reached into their diaper to smear, paint, and plain out play with their poop. Linda recommends clearing up without involving your child and without reacting emotionally. I have a 4 year old daughter and she can use the toilet, but she wipes her poo onto the wall, and draws pictures with it. But the 1 year old especially takes up more of our time with dressing, changing and feeding. Autism and Aspergers: school age children, CHAT: Autistic son started smearing walls, What you need to know about faecal smearing in children, Getting a sensation from the texture or smell of the faeces, Make sure your child is having enough fibre and water. It is very common in boys, especially your sons age. Smearing can take lots of different forms, from a toddler reaching into her nappy and then wiping poo on herself through to an older child taking faeces out of the toilet and playing with it. My son is 4 years old and is also smearing poop on the furniture and was fully potty trained at one time. Don't let a parent push their success with their two year old to make you feel like they have any idea about your 8 year old. give him a baby wipe and get him to do it. All our articles and reviews are written independently by the Netmums editorial team. Typically it is sensory and you could possibly try a PECS strip that shows the steps of using the toilet and washing hands then add some that show fingers wiping on the wall … i would treat it like its no big deal...ie dont punish him but ask him to clean it off but not in a harsh critisizing way. she usually just smudges it on and draws stick figure people with it but it is disgusting and i dont know how to stop her. It can be very difficult for you as a parent to cope with and can stop you wanting to have people over or go out, in case your child smears. A 2-year-old is struggling with attempting to master his own body, to control it's functions, and is quite curious about his productions. Eight years ago, at the age of 36, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. It does sound like that he has quality time with you but it could be that he needs more. i would treat it like its no big deal...ie dont punish him but ask him to clean it off but not in a harsh critisizing way. Whether or not the behaviour is linked to constipation, Linda suggests: She explains: ‘It's important to establish regular mealtimes. And there was a season where he would get poop on his fingers and wipe it on the bathroom walls, etc. If OH is so keen he isn't punished leave it to him to clean up! Does he have any special needs at all? I’m curious….if my son is smearing would this be a sure sign that there is some sort of mental illness? To try to comprehend the genesis of movements like, “I’m going to put my own poop in my hand and smear it on the walls,” is a mind-numbing exercise for an outsider. i worked with kids in care and this wasnt unusual behaviour. The first step is to make an appointment with your GP. This article contains affiliate links, which means we may earn a small amount of money if a reader clicks through and makes a purchase. The are usually several causes and your child may have started smearing for one reason — say physical discomfort — and now it's become habit. I have not seen research on this, but in my experience, kids who do this are usually in need of sensory input. I'm going through this Right Now and My County Will NOT HELP ME!!! What can I do to get her to start wiping herself? Tell … My OH (his father) is reluctant to punish him for this, so I don't feel its in my place to punish him if his Dad doesn't. The summer before kindergarten, I just told my son (turned 5 that July) that he would have to start doing it himself to get him ready for kindergarten. Linda says: ‘Whenever your child poos in the toilet or potty, even if they try but don’t produce anything, reward with lots of praise and attention. In contrast, my 3 year old banishes me from the room muttering “I do it myself”. It's not acceptable behaviour my DD1 did it but she was about 18 months old and I remember it vividly. This is an actual mental medical condition, which may be some form of voluntary encopresis. There is never any deliberate favouritism and we do try to make sure they are all treated fairly. I have suggested to OH to take the computer off him for one night every time he does it, but OH won't do it. When older children (past age six) soil their pants by choice and not by accident, they are old enough to learn how to be responsible for cleaning their soiled pants. I'm having trouble with my 10 year old son pooping in his pants. :(, i know you're not his mum but if you want to treat all the children equally and would punish your biological children if they did this behaviour then surely you need to punish him or there is a definite double standard. good luck. Guessing its the same student as it appears to be the same design. Also, I would supervise her in the bathroom -- don't wipe for her, but help her learn exactly how to do it, … Unknown February 21, 2016 at 6:50 AM. ‘You need to clear up the mess with minimal attention to your child and without showing disgust. ), it will be hugely embarrassing for such a big boy. It fluctuates what our needs are for quality time and it could be that he is unsettled. It sounds like he may have encopresis. And how do you react to her smearing? This a an entirely different issue - … If this sounds like your son and you need help being pointed in the right direction for help, email me directly. It's normal for a toddler to play in poop, because they haven't yet developed the usual disgust reaction. i think by making him clean it off each time it will make him realize the consequenses but not embarrass him by actually saying its poo iyswim xx, https://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/being-mum-794/children-4-11-years-60/834904-9-year-old-smearing-poo-walls.html#post8368974, 9 year old boy birthday party what to do/where to go. Whether you have a toddler or an older child, if she is smearing her faeces on the wall, carpet or anywhere else, it can be a difficult and embarrassing (not to mention messy) issue for you to deal with. From behaviour to bedtimes, school choices to screen time, this is the place to talk all things child-related. These include: Psychologist Linda Blair says: ‘Because so many parents feel ashamed to admit to it, I don’t think we realise how common faecal smearing is. ‘People are uncomfortable talking about it, but there's really no need to feel that way.’. Jan 20, 2008... She may be acting out. Poo smearing was a topic talked about when we fostered, because the children have been hurt, and so if he had someone he could talk to about his birth mother that might help him? 'Does the smearing happen at predictable times or in particular places? I'll try some of the suggestions given. or at any public restrooms? He doesn't have any special needs but his biological mother moved abroad when he was very young and that affected him quite a lot. I see from your profile pic that one little poppet is quite young and no doubt requires more supervision and interaction. I'm just wondering whether he's feeling ostracised because you're not his "real" mum and that he may think the other children are favoured. 'That might mean you have to go upstairs and shout into a pillow for a minute first! Has he changed class at school or anything like that recently? Yells my 6 year old son, his bottom waving in the air like a peachy balloon. Just keep a neutral expression and clean up as calmly as you can. According to Linda, there are a number of reasons your child might be smearing her faeces. After all, it’s his poop in his pants. Another common reason for smearing is because your child gets a positive sensation from the smell or texture of her faeces. Not necessarily common, but normal. She wipes just fine when she pees. If you feed your child at regular intervals, she’ll probably poo at regular intervals too. Then, after a week's supervision you let him go alone, if it happens again, back to supervision. Eww the dirty little toe rag! 2009-02-09 23:09:43. because he likes to. Aging causes the gut to slow down, so poop does not pass through as quickly. January 8, 2021 The assault on the building turned deadly when a Capitol Police officer shot and killed one demonstrator , Ashli Babbitt, a 35-year-old Air … Has he changed class at school or anything like that recently? The key is to praise good behaviour while (as much as possible) calmly dealing with smearing. Medical reasons could include: Linda adds: ‘I’d recommend parents rule out a physical or medical cause first. My son, who is 8 years old has recently began smearing poo on things in the bathroom. If OH is so keen he isn't punished leave it to him to clean up! The only problem is when he sits on the toilet to poop and pee comes out he doesn’t understand how to keep the pee in the toilet and it goes all over the toilet and floor. My 4 year old son has been potty trained for well over a year and a half. Smearing has been linked to children with autism, but this is only one of many possible causes. If you’ve ruled out a medical cause, Linda recommends keeping a diary of when your child smears. He said that he just can't wipe himself well, but it is - Answered by a verified Pediatrician It ultimately changed my outlook on life. They have a problem with their bowels that dulls the normal urge to go to the bathroom. She will go to her room and try to change her pull up herself and... (7 replies) 5 year old smearing feces. I work in an Elementary School and we have found several instances where a little girl has smeared poop on the bathroom wall. He may feel his nose put out of joint with the younger one. 'After you've cleaned up, invite your child to sit on the toilet and if she produces anything, that is the time to show lots of emotion — all positive!'. Smearing has been linked to children with autism, but this is only one of many possible causes. He smears it on the wall because it seems easier. How much younger are the other children? Has went back to acting like a baby i was tod this is a sign of abuse so im taking him in to be tested hope this helps some of you. Also, 6 is, I think, old enough for the conversation that goes: if you don't wipe and get all the poop off, you will get an infection, and you will smell like poop. I do think though your OH needs to understand that this behaviour is not acceptable and you need an united front to tackle it best. It's really upsetting me now as I don't know if it is normal or not, and the constant cleaning it away is making me feel ill. Hi Debbie Extremely large poops may be the outcome of eating a very large meal or the result of chronic constipation. It may well be he "needs attention" rather than attention seeking(sorry I really don't like the phrase, we all have needs that need to be met). ‘Also make sure you have regular toilet times. (They don't call it the Anal Stage for nothin'!) Wiki User Answered . He uses the bathroom with no problem. I would for a start say or call out down the hall every time he goes into the toilet " can you try and keep your poo in the toilet please and wash your hands afterwards thankyou." that alerts him that you know the poo is his and you have then instructed him on what he is to do to keep the home hygenic. I would say ask her if she wants some diapers, one she might be doing this as a means to control you because she is unable to communicate her will two she may very well wish to be treated like a baby again. Linda says: ‘Your child might be very insensitive and not feel it when she goes. 0 0 1 0 0 0 0. I asked the occupational therapist who was working with him at the time (he was three years old then), and she had never heard of it. ‘If your child is autistic and doesn’t want hugs, you can still use praise. First, thank you for this article as it clearly means I’m not alone. Did something occur that made her want your attention? So I would say: 1. It's driving me mad as we have two younger children and I don't want them touching it. Everyone's kid is different though so its hard to tell what is going on with your son or how to handle it. if he then comes out and theres poo around the room.. hand him a dettol wipe and say " can you clean your poo marks off please it's unhygenic" .. this is simply teaching him the rules your not punishing him by telling him what is expected of him in the toilet . She dosnt even wash her hands afterwards so she spreads it onto her fae, in her mouth, and around the house. And is mainly Towards his dad but i have also seen it. If it’s related to smell… try aromatherapy oils to provide an alternative smell. We always make sure we spend time with each of them and together as a family. Don't overreact. He says it hurts and so he holds it in. the school has never said anything about it, but he has a parents evening coming up soon. He may feel his nose put out of joint with the younger one. At three or four years old, some of those techniques can work, but at 5, 6, 7 and 8 years old, it is beyond normal toilet training tactics. But many kids beyond the age of toilet teaching (generally older than 4 years) who soil their underwear have a condition known as encopresis (en-kah-PREE-sis). Last modified on Thursday 17 December 2020. Just wondering how common this is? It can be very difficult for you as a parent to cope with and can stop you wanting to have people over or go out, … This can include putting playdough out to play with during the day (if she is old enough) or touch boards offering different textures. Even is she doesn't manage to go, Linda recommends praising her for trying and then carry on with whatever you were doing before the smearing. For more support, head to our chat forum where you can get advice and tips from other mums whose children are smearing. This increases the motivation to learn proper bowel habits. Hi didntseethiscoming Tue 19-Jul-11 13:36:58. 5 years ago | 29.9K views LOL: POOPING AT SCHOOL Don't you hate it when you're pooping at school then right when your about to finish someone walks in? Yes dear reader, it is. ie just use a light tone and say could you come and this stain off the wall plz (dont acknowledge its poo. My daughter is 5 years old and she starts Kindergarten in just a couple of weeks. Choose one that also enourages feelings of calm and relaxation. My 9 year old step son often finger smears poo on the bathroom walls, floor, sink, bath and even his bedroom walls and the side of his bed. This way, you can work out if there is a pattern to the behaviour and whether it has now become a habit. She will #2 in her pull-up and if I am not here and her dad is she knows he gets mad at her. Reply. My 9 year old step son often finger smears poo on the bathroom walls, floor, sink, bath and even his bedroom walls and the side of his bed. However, he is for some reason terrified to go poop. After that, it’s up to him. It’s something that’s rarely talked about, but faecal smearing — real name scatolia — is not uncommon in young children. I’m not sure what has changed to prompt him to start doing this and I honestly feel lost and alone. Make sure you keep the oils or diffusers well out of your child’s reach though. Hi thanks for replies :-) It ultimately changed my outlook on life. But says she can't do it when she poops. She knows when to pee on the potty and does it fine. See Answer. Does he do it at school? I would do simply as the other poster said and make him clean it and also do some research on the harmful affects of poo and confront him with the facts figures and pictures, as he is 9 he is old enough to understand about germs and infections, this may strike a cord First published on Friday 8 July 2016 How you are coping with it on a regular basis I really don't know it's horrible. Thank you for this article. So they can't control the accidents that usually follow. Remember, even negative attention is attention.’. This means when your child realises she has done a poo, she wants to get rid of it. andib96. It's not acceptable behaviour my DD1 did it but she was about 18 months old and I remember it vividly. Make sure her diet contains lots of natural fibre — plenty of fruit, vegetables and whole grains — and that you're also encouraging her to drink plenty of water. He even likes to wipe his willy after he’s done a wee. I dread opening the door to find he’s used an entire roll of toilet paper and smeared the walls and toilet with poo. 'Did she show any behaviours that indicate she's going to smear: perhaps looking uncomfortable or taking herself off someone to be alone? I thought before approaching closer and realizing that my toddler was not finger painting with paint– it was poop. Reply Delete. If your child is smearing at night, the National Autistic Society suggests thinking about using a special bodystocking to stop the behaviour. My 8 years old son just started smearing 2 weeks ago. 'Always look for, and treat, any medical causes first.’. The strangest part is I will go into his room sometimes and in his closet he will be standing and trying to poop. Hi, Honestly, it took about 6 months before he was doing a decent job. While there are no official figures about how many children are affected by faecal smearing, it’s usually linked to one of the reasons below, or more often to a combination of reasons. Of course it’s okay to feel it’s disgusting but you mustn’t show it. This 8 year old girl is choosing to poop her pants despite having to clean herself and her pants up herself. 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